CHECK OUT: How to Say Goodbye

Dear Friends,

How to Say Goodbye: The Wisdom of Hospice Caregivers by Wendy MacNaughton is a simple, beautiful, comforting, and honest illustrated book about dying people and those who love them.

MacNaughton was the artist in residence at the Zen Hospice Project Guest House in San Francisco, where she observed and recorded vigils, dying, and death in gentle, drawn-from-life watercolours. The book is based on MacNaughton’s own experiences of her aunt’s death, as well as observations of people who died in the hospice and their loved ones. The soft, beautiful images and hand-written text illuminate themes around “the five things” taught to her by a professional caregiver: “I forgive you,” “Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” “I love you,” and “Goodbye.”

During acute grief, not everyone can sit down to read a multi-chapter self-help book about death and grief, and this is why How to Say Goodbye is such a beautiful gift for any loved one of a dying person. This book fills a gap in grief literature. It is not thick or wordy, there are beautiful images on almost every page, the guidance is careful and easy, and it can be perused in any order. Even the dust cover of the small, easy to hold hardcover edition is comfortingly soft and smooth. How to Say Goodbye can fit in a purse or coat pocket, at hand to provide plain, straightforward and tender guidance for being with someone you love who is dying.

The following excerpt is from the first few pages (one line per page) of How to Say Goodbye:

It’s very courageous to sit with someone while they’re dying.

But you can’t actually do anything.

It’s easy to say, “OK, here’s what I want to do. Here’s how I want it to go.”

But you can’t fix this. You’re not in charge. The person dying is in charge.

This little book is like a soft blanket around hard things.

I would definitely give or recommend this book to any loved ones of a dying person, and recommend it as an essential addition to any bookshelf.