Almost Three Years Later: Still Grieving, Still Growing

It’s been almost three years since I first shared the story of my grandson Eric – his life, his death, and the grief that followed. That original blog was written with raw pain, with the hope that someone, somewhere, would feel less alone. Today, I return not because the pain is gone, but because my grief journey has transformed into something new: advocacy, reflection, and the ongoing effort to turn loss into legacy.

Photo from Wix.

Grief That Evolves, Not Ends

Grief doesn’t disappear with time. It evolves. It becomes part of us, changing the way we move through the world. In the years since I last wrote, I've learned to carry my grief with   more grace – but it’s always there, a shadow stitched to joy.

There are still days I can’t breathe from missing him. But now, there are also days when I feel proud – proud of how we’ve honoured Eric, proud of the work that has grown from our heartbreak, and proud of how I've kept moving forward, even when it hurt.

The Eric Elliott Memorial Scholarship: Turning Grief into Growth

One of the most powerful ways we’ve chosen to honour Eric’s life is through the Eric Elliott Memorial Scholarship. This fund provides training opportunities in Infant and Pregnancy Loss Support through Home Hospice Association. The fund aims to increase the number of trained professionals capable of offering compassionate care to individuals affected by the devastating loss of a pregnancy or infant.

Each scholarship given is an act of love. Each recipient becomes a part of Eric’s legacy. It’s our way of saying: his life mattered, and we will continue to make a difference in the world.

Becoming a Death Doula: A New Path with Purpose

I began my training to become a death doula before Eric died. Even then, I felt called to walk alongside others at the end of life. But after Eric’s passing, everything changed. The work became deeply personal.

Completing my training gave me a new perspective. I understood grief in a way no textbook could teach. I understood the silence, the weight, the longing. Now when I support families through dying, death, and loss, I carry that understanding with me.

This work has become part of my healing – and my advocacy. It’s a way of honouring Eric by offering others the tenderness and presence every grieving family deserves.

For the Grieving Grandmas

To other grandmas grieving grandchildren: I see you.

We’re members of a club we never wanted to join. But you are not alone. Our grief may be invisible to others, but it is real. Our love is fierce. Our losses are profound. And our voices matter.

You are allowed to cry in public. You are allowed to smile again. You are allowed to say their names over and over again; in fact, I encourage it. There is no “right” way to grieve. There is only your way. I hope my journey helps you feel just a little less isolated on yours.

Moving Forward with Love and Purpose

As Eric’s birthday approaches again on May 31st, he would have been 4 this year. I am reminded how much has changed – and how much hasn’t. I still miss him every day. I still wish things were different. But I also feel stronger. More connected. More purposeful.

We don’t move on. We move forward, step by step, memory by memory, heartache by heartache – always holding space for the love that remains. Thank you to Home Hospice Association for giving me a voice, for helping me through Eric’s death and thank you to those who read and remember Eric with me.

This October, I’ll be walking in the Moonlit Memory Walk as part of Team Forever 15— a tribute to Eric and the love he brought into our lives. Our team walks to raise funds for the Eric Elliott Memorial Scholarship, helping train more professionals to support families through the heartbreak of pregnancy, infant, and child loss. Every step we take is for Eric — and for every child, parent, and grandparent whose grief deserves tenderness and care. If you’ve been touched by Eric’s story or know the pain of losing a little one, we invite you to join Team Yoda. Walk with us. Fundraise with us. Remember with us. Together, let’s turn love into action.Join Team Forever 15 here.

With love & hugs,

The Grieving Grandma

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Tammy Elliott, also known as the Grieving Grandma, is a Death Doula, Personal Support Worker, and fierce advocate for compassionate end-of-life care. After the loss of her 15-month-old grandson Eric, she began sharing her grief journey to support others navigating loss. Through her work and the Eric Elliott Memorial Scholarship, she honours Eric’s life by helping families and caregivers find support, healing, and community. You can follow her story and advocacy on Instagram @thegrievinggrandma