A Mission to Celebrate Life
- Nadine Bell
- 7 days ago
- 3 min read
I had never heard of a death doula until the winter of 2016 when I attended my first Death Café in Guelph. The facilitator was a local death doula who, as a trained professional, provided companionship, emotional support, and assistance with end-of-life planning to individuals and their families. Her attitude struck me; she didn’t shy away from hard questions but was on a mission to celebrate life! I was inspired!
For those that don’t know, a Death Café is where people from all walks of life come together for tea or coffee, cake, and conversation about death. No, it isn’t sad. It is sometimes filled with laughter, but it always contains personal stories, questions, and ideas. There is no agenda, no objective, just conversation in small groups over a hot or cold beverage. It is not a grief support group or a group counselling session, it is a place to come together to talk about our dying and death after all, not one of us gets out of this life alive!
My late husband Paul Bell had been a palliative care RPN for 25 years, so he had held the hand of many a dying person, but here I was attending without knowing what I was getting into. Imagine my surprise when at my table of 5 we bonded over what we all thought death would be like. Ideas varied between a garden of Eden, a return to the universe's energy, and nothing. We were a diverse table who kept on talking and laughing even after the event ended. The facilitator stopped by our table a few times and interjected a thought here and there that just kept us talking.
I had the opportunity to talk to her afterward where she told me more about being a death doula and how working with clients and families was a blessing. How it had changed her life – she celebrated living by helping the dying. It wasn’t until a year or so after my husband died that I came across the term death doula again. Something sparked within me. I remembered my husband’s passion for being there for the dying and their families, how he had made a difference in the life and death of his clients, and I thought of how much it would have helped to have someone like that in my life when Paul was in the ICU.
I did my research and found that more people are turning to death doulas after a life-limiting diagnosis, or when their parents or they themselves are in palliative care. I remembered the original facilitator and found myself listening to podcasts where death doulas were talking about what they do and the impact it has on families and realized that this is something I want to do. That brought me to the Home Hospice Association where I enrolled in the death doula training. I will be launching my practice in 2025 and look forward to working with clients and families where I can be a beacon of hope and support in the Waterloo Wellington community. I want to promote a culture where end-of-life care is approached with empathy, respect and understanding. I aim to empower individuals to navigate their final moments with grace and create lasting legacies for their loved ones.
Taking these courses has also opened my eyes to my mortality and prompted me to get my papers and affairs in order. From advance care planning and advance care directives to Powers of Attorney for Health and Personal Care, pre-paying for my funeral, writing a will, and the art of Swedish Death Cleaning, I am taking my advice so things won’t be a burden to my family, and my Executrix who is my niece. Have you done any of these things? Maybe it's time to take care of your affairs. Don’t wait. Do it now.
References:
Death Education – Home Hospice Association
Welcome to Death Cafe – Death Café
Death Doula, Mortality, Grief and Loss – Mental Health Radio May 17, 2024 on Sirius XM
A Death Doula Says “Get Real” – Fresh Air April 17, 2024 on Sirius XM
Episode 215: A Death Doula Walks Between – The Best of Coast to Coast AM with George Noory - December 1, 2014 on Sirius SM
Ask a Death Doula – Suzanne O’Brien Podcast – Spotify
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