Walking the Path of a Death Doula

Life has a way of taking you to unexpected places sometimes, which is certainly true for my journey as a death doula candidate through Home Hospice Association (HHA). As someone who started their academic journey many years ago in the liberal arts, studying political science, economics, and philosophy, eventually graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in International Development Studies, venturing into the realm of death care seems like an unlikely destination further up the path. 

Photo from Wix.

Upon finishing my liberal arts education, I felt an important need to translate a life of ideas into a life of action and somehow find a way to express my personal idealism in a manner that I could meaningfully give back to my community. This part of my journey took me into another direction where I completed a Bachelor of Science in Nursing and embarked on a 7-year professional chapter of my life as a Registered Nurse (RN). During my nursing education I witnessed my first birth as well as my first death, and I had the great privilege of offering my care as a student nurse in a wide range of clinical environments, from long term care to a forensic psychiatric unit. 

Over the course of my nursing career, I became certified as a psychiatric mental health nurse, eventually completing my Master of Education in Counselling, and have since transitioned into my most recent professional chapter as a psychotherapist in private practice. It’s in this new context of my life that provided fertile soil for the seed of becoming a death doula to finally germinate with a new possibility of offering care to those at the end of their life. Through my work as a psychotherapist, I have encountered many who required support to grieve the death of someone they loved. In a couple of circumstances, I had the opportunity to support someone who was facing a terminal diagnosis and aid them in addressing some unfinished business. These moments made a lasting impression on me not only as a psychotherapist but as a human being who was deeply touched by the spirit of courage, humility, and grace that permeated our conversations.

I sensed a feeling of calm and compassion take hold as we navigated the tumultuous waters of death, where moments of levity gave way to tenderness, and an unexpressed reverence for the preciousness of human life was palpably felt in between the silence of our words. It was in this liminal space where I heard the calling to be of service in a radically different way than I ever have before. It was here where I felt something come alive within me that was looking for a new way to be expressed, yet I did not have the words to give it voice. As I reflected on the gaps of my previous training and professional experiences, I knew that I needed further education to fully answer this calling. 

Inevitably, this has led me to walk my path as a death doula candidate with HHA and further extend my clinical training as a psychiatric nurse and psychotherapist to better offer support for people who are dying and to their families. It is my sincere hope that by offering safe spaces for people to address the fullness of what is in their hearts and minds as they die, that we can ease the suffering that comes at the end of life and invite the possibility of welcoming our final moments with serenity and gratitude.    

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Laslo Toth is an HHA death doula candidate, and psychotherapist practicing in Halifax, NS.