Bringing the Role of a Death Doula into Long-Term Care: My Journey from Nurse to End-of-Life Companion

For over 20 years, I’ve worked as a nurse in long-term care, providing care and companionship to people in their most vulnerable moments. In those years, I’ve learned that the end of life is about much more than physical care - it’s about connection, understanding, and honoring the emotional and spiritual needs of each person. My own personal journey through a cancer diagnosis deepened that understanding, and its what led me to become a death doula candidate, hoping to bring this compassionate role into long-term care settings. 

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My Personal Journey: Facing Mortality as a Young Mother

Nine years ago, my world shifted dramatically. Just after the birth of my daughter, I was diagnosed with cancer. It was a time of overwhelming uncertainty, where my days became a cycle of surgery, radiation and chemo, with no real promise of what the future held. I had a newborn in my arms, and all I wanted was the chance to be a mother, to be there as she grew. But my reality was consumed with questions of survival, and the fear of the unknown. 

During that time, I desperately wanted someone who could sit with me in that fear - someone who could acknowledge my mortality without brushing it aside, someone who would not treat me like I was going to break if I held my newborn baby girl, someone who would talk openly about the what if’s without worrying that it would upset me. That experience taught me the power of simply being present with someone in their hardest moments. And while I understand that my situation as a young mother with cancer was different from that of an elderly resident in long-term care, I learned that death and dying are universal experiences, bringing up questions and fears that we all share. 

Why a Death Doula in Long-Term Care?

Death doulas are trained to provide emotional, spiritual, and practical support at the end of life. In long-term care, where many residents may not have family nearby or may face their final days feeling isolated, a death doula can fill an essential role. Over the years, I’ve seen firsthand the loneliness and unspoken needs that arise as people near the end. A death doula provides a compassionate presence, creating space for residents to share their fears, regrets, joys and memories - offering a listening ear and a comforting presence that goes beyond clinical. 

Imagine a resident who feels a need to talk about their life, to find meaning, or to express their final wishes. In long-term care, medical staff are often focused on physical care, and while they do their best to provide emotional support, the depth of care a death doula can offer brings something unique. A death doula can help a resident feel truly seen and heard, offering a connection that respects their journey and helps them find peace. 

Combining Nursing and the Role of a Death Doula

My years as a nurse have given me the skills to provide practical care - managing pain, understanding symptoms, and working with families during difficult medical decisions. But my experience with cancer brought a different layer of understanding, one that informs my work as a death doula. Being a death doula isn’t just about knowing what to do; it’s about being fully present, about creating a safe space for residents and their loved ones to ne vulnerable, honest, and unafraid. 

As a death doula candidate, I hope to bring that level of compassionate presence to each resident. I know from my own experience that facing mortality is one of the most isolating and profound journeys a person can take. And while my journey was different from what many residents in long-term care experience, the universal truth is that we all want to feel understood, respected, and supported when we face the end. 

Supporting Families Alongside Residents

Families of long-term care residents often carry their own burdens of fear, grief, and guilt as they watch their loved ones decline. They may not know how to talk about death, or how to find closure in their own way. Part of my work as a death doula is to offer families that same presence - to guide them through the process, help them connect in meaningful ways with their loved one, and to find peace themselves. When a family feels supported, they can be their for their loved one with a more open heart, knowing that they have honored them fully.

Embracing Death as Part of Life

Integrating the role of a death doula into long-term care is about giving residents and their families a more compassionate way to approach death. I believe that every person, regardless of age or circumstance, deserves to feel valued and cared for as they face the end. Being a death doula is about walking alongside them, allowing them to feel understood and seen as they confront the unknown.

In the end, this journey isn’t just about nursing or end-of-life care - it’s about connecting with the humanity that we all share By brining the role of death doula into long-term care, I hope to honor the universal truths of death and dying, creating an environment where residents and families can find peace, understanding, and even moments of beauty in the journey. For me, this is more than a calling; it’s a way to help others find the comfort and presence I once longed for myself, so that no one faces the end alone.