CHECK OUT: It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok

Dear Friends,

I wanted to recommend a book I recently read-It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok by Megan Devine. Devine is a psychotherapist who worked with grieving clients in a specific, sterile way, and then experienced her own tragic loss, which caused her to see grief and grief work in a completely new light.

The way Devine writes is real and raw. She talks about her personal experience, how unique grief is, and how it’s all ok…until it isn’t. I found reading it incredibly helpful in feeling that what I had experienced, what had irritated me, what had helped or hurt was similar to her experience, yet also very much my own. I love her advice on how to sit with someone in grief, and not try to fix them or the situation, because no words can make the hurt go away. How there is no timeline and that grief is something you learn to live with, not something you just get over.

When losing my mom, my person, I felt like the world carried on like nothing had happened, while my world stopped. I felt irritated by all of the canned comments like, “I’m sorry for your loss” and “things will get better”. I felt deeply misunderstood by anyone who hadn’t experienced grief themselves. Devine explains all of this beautifully and in such a relatable way. She doesn’t come off as a PhD (although that knowledge is certainly there), but simply as a woman who has lived through a terrible loss, what that looked like, and continues to look like, for her.

I recommend this for anyone bearing witness to grief, or living it themselves, but beware-there are no filters to the depth of emotions. It’s heavy-as is grief.

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Jackie Belliveau is an HHA death doula candidate, residing on the South Shore of Nova Scotia. She has a great passion for helping others, writing and nature. You can learn more about her at https://jacbelliveau.blogspot.com/.